Missionary Farewell - Jesse Bagley

 I attended a missionary farewell for Jesse Bagley.  I was so impressed by his eloquently give talk, that I ask if I might get a copy, and asked for permission to share it with my family.  After getting amazed responses from many, I got courageous and ask for permission to post his talk on my blog.

As all of us at different times in our lives experience hardships, we to can feel the guidance, love and inspiration from a loving God.  True peace and joy is felt when we follow the example of Christ and try to be like him.

Thank you Jesse for sharing such personal experiences.  They have already touched many lives, and will continue to do the same.  May God watch over you in your upcoming missionary service.


Christopher Jesse Bagley
Farewell Talk
November 27, 2011
In ten days from now I will leave on my mission. If you would have asked me 7 years ago if I wanted to go on a mission, I would have laughed and asked "Are you kidding?" I didn’t even like to go to church. I struggled to have faith in anything and thought life to be unfair and miserable as most teenagers do. I was prideful and had a “screw the world” type attitude. I walked around with a chip on my shoulder trying to convince everybody that I didn’t care about anything. I was extremely rebellious and I was headed down the wrong path. Now I am on a much different path. I have asked myself at what point did I make the decision to change direction. Well truthfully, I never remember a pivotal point in my life where I woke up one morning and said, “Today, I am different.” Although I made a covenant at baptism to live by a higher standard and I was given many gifts and tools, I did not come out of the water a completely different person. I was still subject to many of the same temptations as before and still had many of the same flaws. Also, there were a lot of changes in me that had to happen prior to my decision to be baptized. Considering all of that I am still left with the question, when did I make the change? Well, upon further personnel reflection I found that the change was not immediate, but rather happened over a long span of time, one decision at a time. With that being the case, I had to ask myself what initiated my desire to change. I found great guidance in Mosiah 3:19 "For the a natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticing’s of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." I would like to put a special emphasis on the line that says “unless he yields to the enticing’s of the Holy Spirit." Upon reading this I realized when it was I first decided I wanted to put off the natural man. That was when, as a young frustrated youth, I first met the Baker Family and
subconsciously recognized the happy spirit which resided in their household. I was not fully aware of it at first but I was attracted to their house like a moth to a flame. They had structure and order in their home and a special spirit which I was unfamiliar with. I couldn’t put a name on what it was that they had, but one thing I did know is that I wanted it. I had for some time known darkness and confusion, but I had never known happiness like that which resided in the Baker home. I remember it being so peaceful whenever I was there. I ran away from my mom’s house several times just so I could be at the Bakers. I was sometimes persuaded to go back to my mom’s house and a couple of times I was escorted back by a police officer. The Bakers decided to move to Colorado and shortly after, at sixteen I ran away from my mom’s house for good. Those were very hard times for me. I oftentimes struggled to find a meaning in life. However, I managed to keep my head up and press forward. I talked to Gabe on the phone all the time and always told him I wanted to move out there with them. About a year and a half later Fred called me up and said “I’ve got the money. I want you out here in a week”. I was so excited; I drove to Colorado and moved in with the Bakers. However, I was not as keen in feeling their special spirit as I was before. Unfortunately, during my time alone I had made a lot of bad decisions. I had developed a sense of pride and caution that impeded upon my ability to recognize and covet that sweet peaceful spirit. I had become like Nephi’s brothers in first Nephi 17:45 “Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God. Ye have seen an angel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were past feeling, that ye could not feel his words”. I had been testified to by the Spirit, but because of my sins I could no longer feel that testimony; I had grown cold. I continued living with Bakers and I went to church with them every Sunday. I met with missionary after missionary. Sadly enough I was too caught up in my iniquity to be able to yield to the enticing’s of the Spirit. I was too confident in my own knowledge and couldn’t recognize the truth. As a child I had been deceived by so many false prophets that it was my very nature to be cautious. My mother dragged me from one church to the next as if she were seeking something. Even being young I could feel in my heart that the churches we went to were lacking and didn’t seem real. So I ended up with a disbelief in all religion. I went on like
this for a while, struggling with direction and purpose. Paula and Fred watched me struggle with patience, always encouraging me but never forcing me. They knew that if I was to see the truth I had to do it on my own.
A great misfortune is that I was born stubborn. I was set in my ways and was not ready to accept the truth. I went on doing what I wanted to do, thinking I was above any consequence. I continued living this way and was later bestowed upon with a great blessing. God humbled me. At the time it felt like misery, but I look back and am so thankful for that trial. I had people really close to me that I treated wrong and so there was a lot of pain in our relationships because of it. I moved off to college in the middle of all of this and felt completely alone. My little world had come crashing down on my head and I felt like I had nowhere to turn, until one day missionaries knocked on my door. Paula had called them and suggested they visit me. From my humble and meek position I was able to recognize in them what I had not recognized in anyone for quite some time. That is the Spirit of Happiness and Peace which comes from our Heavenly Father. They were eager to teach me and I was finally eager to learn. I was finally able to see the truth. I drank from the fountain of knowledge like a man who comes across an oasis after wandering in the desert and is on the brink of dying from thirst. I developed a very strong relationship with the missionaries. They were older and it was as if we were meant for each other. I committed to baptism after my second lesson. The Baker Family drove all the way to Laramie Wyoming to attend my baptism and Fred, my spiritual father, performed the ordinance. It was a very special time in my life and I was very in tune with the Spirit. Shortly after my baptism I was given the gift of the Holy Ghost. I now had what I had so long ago coveted from the Baker Family. With my new gift I felt a change in life and a new direction. Parley P. Pratt eloquently said about the Holy Ghost that “It quickens all the intellectual faculties; increase, enlarges, expands, and purifies all the natural passions and affections; and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. …It develops and invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. It strengthens, invigorates, and gives tone to the nerves. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being.”
I have a strong testimony as to the truthfulness of the Apostle’s words. The Holy Ghost truly brings light unto man. It brought a light into my life which I had never known before. After baptism I was very strong in the faith. I knew the church was true and stayed very firm in following the promptings of the Spirit. Once I finished my schooling and moved away from my support group my vigor seemed to die down. I started struggling with sins from my old life and getting mixed up with the wrong people. I struggled with temptations and did things that did not invite the Spirit into my life. But thankfully the Lord showed mercy and humbled me once again. It wasn’t a severe trial, but it helped me find perspective. I sought restitution in the atonement and realized I needed to do something with my life. I decided I wanted to go on my mission but wasn’t spiritually ready. So I went into the military. I thrived in the military, the structure and discipline allowed me to grow spiritually and mentally. All throughout training I could recognize the Spirit in my life. I would look around me and see many people get discouraged. I held fast to the iron rod and was comforted. I had a serenity and peace about me that helped me overcome my trials. Other people noticed it too and would sometimes comment on it. I found many missionary opportunities and had the privilege of baptizing one of my friends. I noticed people started to look to me to see how I would act. Having the Gospel and the Holy Ghost in my life changed my whole entire outlook. It gave me purpose and insight. I no longer had to suffer with the frustrations I had grown up with. I now understand pain and trials. I understand why we were put on this earth and I see why we must sometimes suffer. Now that my eyes are open I realize that I am so thankful for all the trials and tribulations the Lord blessed me with. They have expanded my capacity for joy and love. They have opened my eyes to the beauty of life. When hard times come I no longer have to act tough and get mad. I can be humble and be comforted by the Spirit.
My conversion took a while, but as Boyd K. Packer said, “Conversion does not always happen immediately. Nevertheless, it comes as a quiet thing. It is a still, small voice.” I realize now what I did not realize before. That sweet comforting spirit I saw in the Baker Family was the Spirit of our Heavenly Father trying to reach out to me in my affliction, but at that time I could hardly perceive it. My
conversion was not in a single choice that I made but rather in every choice that I have ever made. They have all accumulated to bring me to the point that I am at right now. Even the small choices matter and this is why I am convinced that having the Holy Ghost as a constant companion is absolutely essential to salvation. President Eyring said “The companionship of the Holy Ghost, the manifestations of it in our life and service, require us to put our lives in order to qualify. Let us do whatever is required to qualify for the Holy Ghost as our companion and then let us go forward fearlessly that we will be given the powers to do whatever the Lord calls us to do. That growth in power to serve may come slowly, it may come in small steps that are difficult for you to see, but it will come.” I too testify that it will come as long as we fulfill our part of the covenant and “do whatever is required”. We need the Holy Ghost in our lives.
Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve said “What we’re seeing is the prediction that in these latter days people will be afraid; men’s hearts are failing and that includes women, because they forget their identity and their purpose.” I know the feeling of being afraid and having no purpose and I don’t ever want to feel like that again. It brings me great sadness to see others experiencing such feelings. Through my afflictions the Lord has taught me that I don’t have to know fear, and through His mercy He has given me a companion - the Holy Ghost. As long as I live righteously I shall not go astray. Now that I have been given this gift and experienced the great joy that it brings, I wish to act as a vessel for the Lord and bring it to others so that their hearts shall not fail them and they shall know peace. So if you ask me if I want to go on a mission today I would reply, “It is the desire of my heart”. I would like to bear you my testimony that I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is the true church of Jesus Christ and that it was restored by a true Prophet, Joseph Smith. That the Book of Mormon is the word of Christ and that if we follow the still, small promptings of the Spirit, our hearts will not fail us and we will not be led astray. I testify of these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.